Do It For the Vlog
by whisperwriter
Summary: This is a fictional piece commenting on some of the drama surrounding Matthew Lush. Yes some things mentioned in this story are true, but it is still a fictional story that I wanted to write to bring up the kind of things that could actually happen. This story is a dramatized scenario about how Matthew Lush treats people and how he affects other people's lives.


Matt rolled over, stealing the covers from my side of the bed again. He yawned so I knew he was awake. Earlier in our relationship I tried carefully to pull the covers back, but by this point I knew it was no use. I just smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Good morning, Matt." As I spoke I heard Weebo whining in her crate. I let Matt lay there while I took the puppy outside to go pee. When I came back in Matt was in the shower. I gave Weebo breakfast and I decided to make breakfast for us, cooking up vegan sausage and avocado toast. I'm not a big fan of the vegan sausage, but Matt would hate it if I had real sausage in here. He didn't talk to me for a whole day once because I ate a hotdog around him. I make it work though, a lot of his vegan meals aren't that bad. He has introduced me to a bunch of vegan restaurants that I really enjoy. I get the camera out and tell the lushlaws good morning, showing them the breakfast I was making.

I'm just putting our plates on the table when he walks out in a towel. My eyes and the camera turned to his revealed chest and I thought how great it was to have Matthew Lush as my boyfriend. I never thought I'd be his friend let alone boyfriend. Stalking his Instagram paid off.

"Aw you made me breakfast?" He asked into the camera.

"Yep. I made your favorite sausage," I said, getting in frame.

"My favorite? I thought you didn't like that kind," he responds.

"I can tolerate it. I just wanted to make you a nice breakfast," I said. Matt kisses me, goes into the bedroom to put some clothes on and then came back out to sit down with me for breakfast. I put the camera down so we could eat. As we ate Weebo walked under the table brushing his fur on our bare feet. After breakfast I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Matt played with Weebo as I cleaned, but when I finished I joined him with the puppy.

"Do you want to go to Starbucks?" I asked. "And we could also go to Lush, I noticed last night you're running out of shampoo."

"Yeah that sounds good. Oh, but I'm all out of gift cards so we should go to the PO Box first," he said.

"Sounds like a plan. Maybe we can do a PO box vlog later too then."

Matt and I got in his car and drove in the ridiculous L.A. traffic to the PO Box. We hadn't gone in about two weeks so the mailmen probably weren't happy with us. There would probably be boxes piled to the ceiling. When we got there we were both surprised at the amount of mail we got.

"Wow, this is not as much as I expected," Matt said as we only took two trips to get all of our mail in the back of his car. "I just want to find the gift cards and then we can go to Starbucks," he said.

As Matt dug out $100 worth of Starbucks and $200 worth of Lush I waited in the passenger seat. When he was done he got in front of the wheel and handed me a $25 Starbucks card.

"You know what, you keep it. I don't need it."

"This one was addressed to you," Matt said.

"I'm okay," I responded. As we drove to Starbucks Matt pulled out the camera, careful to vlog and drive at the same time.

"Hey everyone!" Matt said to the camera in his high pitched voice. "You are going to be so excited. So after the best boyfriend in the world-"

"That's me!" I chime in, smiling.

"-made me a delicious breakfast we went to the PO Box. So we got a few packages and a lot of letters from you." Then Matt moved the camera to point in the back seat, "That's all the stuff you sent us. We actually didn't have to put any in the trunk this time. It all fit in the back."

"That's what he said," I said. Matt laughed as we came to a stop light.

"So later today we are going to shoot a mail vlog. But right now we're going to Starbucks and then we're going to Lush." Matt turns to me, "Quick before the light turns green, kiss me!" We kissed and as the light turned green Matt quickly added jokingly, "Don't kiss and drive!"

When we got to Starbucks we parked and walked inside. It was 11:30 and the line was already stretched to the door. By the time we got to the front of the line we were both getting impatient. The barista waiting to take our orders had a name tag that read "Corey" and tired, brown eyes.

"Welcome to Starbucks how can I help you?" Corey asked in a humdrum voice. We told Corey our drinks and he handed me mine a minute later. "I'm sorry sir," he said to Matt, "but the machine doesn't seem to be working. Can I get you a different drink?" I wanted to curl up in a ball and roll away after he said that.

"A different drink? I already paid for my drink," Matt began. Matt can never shut up when he doesn't get his way, now he's going to embarrass us in front of everyone in Starbucks. "There were 20 people in front of me that got their coffee just fine," Matt went on. I mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to Corey as Matt continued.

"Babe, babe," I said to Matt. "Why don't we go to another Starbucks and explain we already paid at one franchise and I'm sure they'll be happy to make your drink with a working machine. How about you wait for me in the car, I'll be there in a second." Matt sulked out the door and I turned to Corey. "I'm sorry, my boyfriend can be a little emotional. Is there any way you can call the nearest Starbucks and see if they'll understand and make him a free drink since we paid here?" I asked.

"No problem. We really need a new machine, this happens once a week. And trust me, I've seen a variety of tantrums over coffee." Corey called the next Starbucks and Matt was able to get his drink.

"That Corey person was so rude. Like, did you hear how he spoke to us? He sounded like he hated the sight of us," Matt said on the way to Lush.

"I don't know, I think he just sounded tired," I said, thinking Corey probably started his shift at 6am. When we walked up to Lush Matt was typing something on his phone. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Tweeting about the horrible service Corey gave us. I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't get my coffee is because he knew we're gay."

"But I got my coffee," I offered, trying to cool Matt off.

"Maybe he wanted to fuck you," Matt said seriously. Sometimes I wonder how his logic works. "I just need to get some relaxing bath bombs and soak in the tub later." We walked around Lush and Matt got his shampoo along with all the new products out, including new bath bombs. We recorded as we walked around the shop finding all the new products. Once we were done we got lunch at Veggie Grill and then we headed home and unloaded our mail into the living room. I set up the camera equipment while Matt strategically put his gift cards back in their packaging so he could open them on camera. It takes nearly an hour to record a mail vlog, between all the gifts and reading letters. We do read the letters while recording, but just edit out the time it takes to read them. After making that video I recorded for the day's vlog while I played with the puppy and Matt edited the mail vlog.

After a while Matt was still editing and Weebo got tired out, so I sat down on the couch and got on twitter. Scrolling through I saw Matt's tweet about Starbucks earlier. I clicked on it to see what people were saying. "Why is Corey working there?" "Corey should be fired." "Oh my god did he really not serve you for being gay?" I had to respond. I typed "I got my drink. Matt misunderstood the situation." Five minutes later Matt was still in the room editing but I saw him in my mentions, "Why are you undermining me? I don't deserve to be treated like that." It was almost as if the lushlaws were just lushes, quickly backing Matt. I hate when he airs things out on twitter. This stupid Starbucks thing isn't even a big deal.

"Hey, Matt?" I asked peeking into the bedroom a little later. "What do you want for dinner?" I figured maybe if I avoid the Starbucks tweets everything would be fine.

"I'm almost done editing. And then I'm taking a bath and going to bed," he said while he continued editing.

"No dinner?" I asked.

"Nope," he said, looking at his computer screen.

"Okay, well… do you want to finish today's vlog right now?" Sometimes I wish that question didn't exist in my life. At times like that recording our relationship is a hindrance; we both put on a show to make everything look perfect, and it's not. And forcing ourselves to be happy when we aren't just pushes away the chance to resolve things. I love Matt but I always feel like I have to hold everything in. With the cameras around everything appears perfect and I worry that I'm going to resent him somehow, someday. But whenever I try to talk about it he pulls out the camera. It's like a magic piece of technology that makes fights disappear.

I got on the bed and we finished the vlog, Matthew sounding chipper as ever. He gave me six pecks on my lips and when I stopped recording he got up to take his bath. I made dinner, enough for both of us if Matt changed his mind. He was still in the bath when I finished eating so I decided to finish editing the day's vlog. Forty minutes later he emerged from the bathroom and went straight to the bedroom. I finished the vlog and posted it, tweeting it out and posting it on my Facebook page. After I hit every social media site with the link I went to bed.

The next morning seems fine, I wake up to smell Matthew cooking vegan bacon and recording me as I walk into the kitchen. Our day started the same as the day before, with breakfast and Starbucks. We went to our usual Starbucks, and I was grateful because I wanted to give Corey a tip for being so great to me yesterday. When we walked in there was only a few people sitting down and a two baristas behind the counter. We decide to sit in the coffee shop for a little bit so Matt finds us a table while I order our drinks.

"Hi, Derek," I said without looking at his name tag, we come here enough I know most of the employees. Along with our drinks I ask him, "Can I leave a tip for Corey, too? He was really awesome yesterday and I forgot to tip him."

"Actually, he got fired yesterday," he said in a soft voice.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"A bunch of teenage girls were making a scene right outside the store, saying he gave them terrible service or something. They didn't buy a single drink," he sounded mad voicing his last sentence. "But it was effecting business, so the boss had to do something."

"That is so stupid," I said thinking of what really caused Corey to lose his job. I knew I couldn't make up for making him lose his job, but I switched the ten I was going to give him as a tip with a twenty and handed it to Derek, "Do you think you could get this to him?"

"Absolutely." He made our coffees and I walked to the table Matt was sitting at.

"That was fast," Matt commented. "I guess this guy is actually doing his job right unlike Corey." Matt was starting to really tick me off.

"Corey lost his job yesterday," I took a pause before finishing my thought, "Because of you. Matt you can't walk around treating people like shit just because a few people look up to you." I said, enraged.

"A few? Have you checked Lush lately, we're so close to a million."

"A million what, Matt?"

"Subscribers. What else?"

"People. Lives that you affect every day. Apparently some of our followers were in here yesterday making a scene and that's what got that guy fired. Is that what you want? An army? An army of followers that will accept your every word and do anything for you? People who send you gift cards galore, letters saying how much _you mean to them_, and for what? I can tell you one thing, I've felt like a part of that army, but I don't want to be in it anymore."

"What are you saying?" He asked with confusion on his face.

"That you have some things you seriously need to work on. And until you've done that," I had fire in my throat backing up my words but there was also a storm behind my eyes, "I don't want to see you." Part of me wanted to stay and hear what he had to say for himself, but another part of me knew that was no use. I walked down the sidewalk, unsure of where I was going but I knew I couldn't get back in that car. I wondered if all of a sudden there would be friend custody and all our friends would stick with Matt because they knew him first. I knew I had one friend in the area that would at least understand and probably offer me a place to sleep while I sort things out. I dialed his number on my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Will?" I said, tears streaming down my face.

"Oh my god. You don't sound okay. What's wrong?" Will asked.

"I think I just broke up with Matt. I can't get back in that car. I can't go back to the apartment, not right now."

"Okay. Don't freak out. I'm coming to get you. Where are you?" Soon Will and RJ were picking me up and taking me back to their place. They gave me some time to cool off in the car but once we got in their apartment they started asking questions. I sat on their green couch as Dobby rubbed his head against my leg, sensing my emotions.

"He lets the fame go to his head. Sometimes I feel like the only thing subscribers really are to him are money and Starbucks cards. I know that's not true, that can't be true. That's not who I feel in love with," I told them.

"I guess I'm curious what happened today," Will said.

"I should have saw the signs. It's not like he hasn't done this before. He tweeted about our barista giving him bad service yesterday, and he got fired. He got fucking fired! Just because Matt doesn't understand the power of his actions," I said. Will and RJ looked at each other.

"Just like Regina," Will said to RJ, referencing a tweet from Matt about JetBlue airlines.

"Or Veggie Grill," RJ returned.

"Nick don't worry, you can stay here as long as you need," Will said. "We can help you get your stuff from the apartment if that's what you want."

"I really don't know what I want," I said. "I still love him. Part of me wants to go back there right now. But I told him I didn't want to see him until he fixes things, and I need to stick by that."

Will and RJ were great friends, they took me to the apartment the next day when I knew Matt wouldn't be there to get some things. "Would it be a total dick move to take Weebo? Matt got him for me," I asked Will and RJ as we packed up some of my things. I barely saw them vlog all day or last night so I added, "By the way guys, it's okay if you want to record around me. I'm not that fragile."

"I'm not sure you really want this online," RJ said.

"Well, if it's not posted and I'm gonna take the dog I'd at least like to be able to watch that over again," I said. After asking if I was sure Will pulled out his camera.

"So we're with Nick right now. Shit went down yesterday and he's gonna be staying with us for a while. He was just asking us if he should take his puppy Weebo." Will turned to face me, "I think that has to be up to you." Then Will turned to RJ, "If we ever broke up who would get Dobby?"

"I feel like you would because you found him. I don't want to take sides here, though," RJ said throwing his arms in the air.

"How would Dobby feel about a playmate?" After a little discussion of another dog in their house they were with me, so we left the place with a few boxes and a puppy. The next three weeks online were insane. After seeing Matt had tweeted about me leaving the day I left I told Will and RJ that it's perfectly fine to film this disaster. It was my life at the moment and I had people worrying about me. I felt horrible for it, but I laughed when I read a tweet from Matt saying "He took the dog?!" His tweeting died down after a week, while I rarely tweeted, and never about him. Three weeks after I left Will, RJ, and I went out for coffee. We were laughing at something RJ said as we walked into Starbucks. We ordered our drinks and sat down, talking about a collab idea.

"Oh by the way guys, I'm sure you don't want to say anything but I know I've been at your place for a while. I think I found myself an apartment."

"Oh, cool," RJ said. "Is it nearby? Because we need you for this collab." Living with Will and RJ had actually been really great, we became even better friends in the past few weeks.

"Yeah it is, and…" my gaze went past Will and RJ. They noticed me staring at something and turned around. We were all staring at Matt, he must have just walked in. Will and RJ turned back to me.

"Do you want to go?" Will asked me. Matt had been posting every upload day while I was gone, but it wasn't the same. RJ had watched a couple of the recent Lush videos and told me views were way down and after a while Matt seemed weirdly calm. It was just videos of his day.

"No. I need to talk to him," I said, standing and going over to him. "Hey," I said to Matt.

"Hey," he smiled at me. "I miss you."

"I know," I said.

"Oh, okay," Matt responded. "I miss Weebo too. I know I can't just beg you to come back, you have your own life and can do whatever you want. It took me some time, but I've really been processing what you said to me. I've actually been in therapy for two weeks now. You were right, I took advantage of our viewers. I took advantage of you. And I am immensely sorry. I can't undo what I've done. But I can change myself to make the future better."

"It sounds like the therapy is helping," I responded. "And I've missed you too. I do love you, Matthew."

"And I love you. And if you're willing to work on us, my therapist says couples counseling could really help. If you're willing that is," he said. I gave him a smile.

"I am," I didn't want this to be over. I wanted to go back to how we once were.

"Then why don't you say we go get your stuff and our dog from Will and RJ's. And you can come home." Things still weren't perfect, but are they ever? We built a life with each other, and even though I ran away I'm not ready to give that up. Everyone has their problems, not everyone chooses to accept them. It took some time away from either other but we got there, accepting every part of one another while still growing and changing into better people.


End file.
